Tonight, Top Chef D.C. ends and the new season of my one and only reality show guilty pleasure, Survivor, is about to begin!.... and I'm going to be playing along!!... because I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!!!...
Obviously, I'm not going to be ON either show, but I will be EATING and COOKING like I'm on a weird mashup of the two shows... Due to your friendly neighborhood idiot (that's me) making a banking boo boo by paying WAY more that he intended/needed/could afford to pay to a particular creditor last week and a paycheck that won't show for another 10 days, I'm going to be subsisting SOLELY on my surroundings (at home) for a bit. The last time I went on a big grocery run was a solid 10-12 days ago. I've picked up a couple things here and there, but I ain't got much in the house. Since I have nary a dime to spare for the near future, I'm going to combine my two favorite realities by spending the next weekplus focused on getting creative cooking up whatever I can find around my place. No going out to eat, no delivery, no showering, and no grocery shopping! I'm totally kidding about the showering... (SOLELY because I have to go to work). For a spontaneous, social bachelor like myself, it's going to be quite the challenge. I literally have to use all my energy to say no to any social invites when I have nothing else to do... But if spending money is involved, I have no other choice!
Now, I don't want to get too overdramatic about this... In Top Chef spirit, I'm a pretty decent and imaginative cook (see below). I can also don a Survivor buff and will fearlessly eat what you (or I) put in front of me. And I've got sommmmme food in the joint... It's not a ton, but I'm pretty sure I won't HAVE to lure a neighbor's cat into my place to make orange chicken (I hope...) The real big problem is whether what I'm making is at least remotely healthy. Which is why I've gotta ask...
It's a pretty crappy picture, but it was a pretty pretty dish, if I don't say so myself. I totally just made stuff up and it was really easy.... So, since I'm sorta going Poor Boy Gourmet for a while, I'm actually going to go Poor Girl Gourmet on your asses and recipe this here dish out for ya... What we've got here is some of my finest work as judged by my own taste buds and belly...
You'll have to excuse the lack of precision. "Machete don't text" and "Briles don't measure".
1 Can of Black beans cooked in a pot on low heat with some onions chopped up and thrown in there. I threw a little cayenne and garlic powder in there, as well. It cooked for about a half an hour on as low as I could keep the gas flame. Pretty standard stuff... I also broke up a half a slice of pepper jack and threw that on top once it was on the plate. Made two to three servings. I threw a couple large spoonfuls of Trader Joe's Habanero Lime Salsa on the side.
2 chicken breasts chopped up. I tossed a bit of salt, pepper, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and a good amount of cumin on them. I heated some olive oil up in a weird pan that I think I've used once before... it's some cross between a wok and a skillet. Alls I really know about it is that I got it in the divorce. I'm just going to call it a "skok"... So I heated the oil up in the skok and threw the chicken in. Once the chicken was almost cooked through, I threw in some sliced green and yellow peppers and half an onion in there. A little more salt, a little more cumin, and a little more pepper. Cooking everything uncovered for a few minutes. Then I threw a about 4 or 5 small blobs of Trader Joe's Red Thai Curry Sauce
(which is the ABSOLUTE BOMB - but I know not great for you...) in, stirred it up, covered the skok and let it simmer for a few.
3. This is where I got REALLY creative (by my standards). I had a bag of fresh small yams and half a bag of frozen turnip chunks that I had neglected for some time. So I threw 6 skinned and chopped up yams and the half a bag of turnips in some boiling water with a medium onion (this ratio turned out great). I let everything boil until ready to be mashed (20 minutes?). After draining the water, I added some salt, a little pepper, a bit of cumin and cayenne, about a tablespoon of Brommel & Brown yogurt margarine, a few good squirts of honey, a few splashes of lime juice, and a quarter cup of pineapple juice, two solid pinches of brown sugar and a couple daps of the Thai Curry Sauce. I wanted to mash the damn concoction, but I guess I don't have a masher (there was quite an extensive search...the ex must have gotten it...), so I just had to stir it up with a wooden spatula. I got it 'mashy' enough to make do. It was freakin' fantastic!!!
I ate the plate you saw in the picture... and maaayyyyybe an extra small spoonful of each dish, but after a light day, I had the the extra calories coming to me. Everything worked pretty darn well together and it made at least two 'husky kid' meals, probably three 'regular person' meals, and four 'Ain't no way I'm not having more of THAT' meals. Seriously, this meal was GREAT, really easy to cook all 3 at the same time and it was fun to just pull stuff from around the house, but will Ann Marie approve??
How'd I do, Sansei?
Now, I don't want to get too overdramatic about this... In Top Chef spirit, I'm a pretty decent and imaginative cook (see below). I can also don a Survivor buff and will fearlessly eat what you (or I) put in front of me. And I've got sommmmme food in the joint... It's not a ton, but I'm pretty sure I won't HAVE to lure a neighbor's cat into my place to make orange chicken (I hope...) The real big problem is whether what I'm making is at least remotely healthy. Which is why I've gotta ask...
IS!..THIS!..O!..KAY!..SAN!..SEI???!!
(I want you to hear a game show crowd, or perhaps an informercial crowd, shouting that out in your heads every time you read it...)
It's a pretty crappy picture, but it was a pretty pretty dish, if I don't say so myself. I totally just made stuff up and it was really easy.... So, since I'm sorta going Poor Boy Gourmet for a while, I'm actually going to go Poor Girl Gourmet on your asses and recipe this here dish out for ya... What we've got here is some of my finest work as judged by my own taste buds and belly...
You'll have to excuse the lack of precision. "Machete don't text" and "Briles don't measure".
1 Can of Black beans cooked in a pot on low heat with some onions chopped up and thrown in there. I threw a little cayenne and garlic powder in there, as well. It cooked for about a half an hour on as low as I could keep the gas flame. Pretty standard stuff... I also broke up a half a slice of pepper jack and threw that on top once it was on the plate. Made two to three servings. I threw a couple large spoonfuls of Trader Joe's Habanero Lime Salsa on the side.
2 chicken breasts chopped up. I tossed a bit of salt, pepper, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and a good amount of cumin on them. I heated some olive oil up in a weird pan that I think I've used once before... it's some cross between a wok and a skillet. Alls I really know about it is that I got it in the divorce. I'm just going to call it a "skok"... So I heated the oil up in the skok and threw the chicken in. Once the chicken was almost cooked through, I threw in some sliced green and yellow peppers and half an onion in there. A little more salt, a little more cumin, and a little more pepper. Cooking everything uncovered for a few minutes. Then I threw a about 4 or 5 small blobs of Trader Joe's Red Thai Curry Sauce
(which is the ABSOLUTE BOMB - but I know not great for you...) in, stirred it up, covered the skok and let it simmer for a few.
3. This is where I got REALLY creative (by my standards). I had a bag of fresh small yams and half a bag of frozen turnip chunks that I had neglected for some time. So I threw 6 skinned and chopped up yams and the half a bag of turnips in some boiling water with a medium onion (this ratio turned out great). I let everything boil until ready to be mashed (20 minutes?). After draining the water, I added some salt, a little pepper, a bit of cumin and cayenne, about a tablespoon of Brommel & Brown yogurt margarine, a few good squirts of honey, a few splashes of lime juice, and a quarter cup of pineapple juice, two solid pinches of brown sugar and a couple daps of the Thai Curry Sauce. I wanted to mash the damn concoction, but I guess I don't have a masher (there was quite an extensive search...the ex must have gotten it...), so I just had to stir it up with a wooden spatula. I got it 'mashy' enough to make do. It was freakin' fantastic!!! I ate the plate you saw in the picture... and maaayyyyybe an extra small spoonful of each dish, but after a light day, I had the the extra calories coming to me. Everything worked pretty darn well together and it made at least two 'husky kid' meals, probably three 'regular person' meals, and four 'Ain't no way I'm not having more of THAT' meals. Seriously, this meal was GREAT, really easy to cook all 3 at the same time and it was fun to just pull stuff from around the house, but will Ann Marie approve??
How'd I do, Sansei?
