So a few weeks ago, during that magical time of year that I personally like to call "March Madness", I headed out of Boston to Providence, RI. I wanted to watch the first Thursday of NCAA Basketball Tourney action in one of the tournament host cities, which Provie was. I was planning on spending Friday there as well. However, Syracuse was playing that night, so the Orange loyalist in me said I should go join all the other Boston area alumni at our adopted alumni bar, The Pour House. Providence was good times, but I threw on my orange, custom made Rick "Action Jackson" tee, hopped in my car, then made like Charlie Sheen's lawyer and bailed out.
I knew it was going to be a great day, as my luck that afternoon was amazing. Driving back to the larger of the two state capitals, I had an easy, traffic free hour on a beautiful spring day that led me straight to a metered parking spot just three blocks up from my destination on Boylston St... AND thanks to the change from the McFlurry I pummeled on the way, I had enough quarters to pop in the meter so that it would take me past 8PM (when the free meter parking starts). Some old college buddies, a bar full of "Cusies", and I all cheered the the team on to a fine victory, adding to an already fiiine day.
Then, the city of Boston decided to play a little trick on me....
They put, what must have been, a Georgetown or UConn alum on parking meter duty that night, and that meter maid must have seen me walk away from my Honda Accord in a Syracuse orange shirt, because when I came back to my car, there was a bright Syracuse orange envelope with a parking violation in it under my windshield... and it wasn't even for a meter violation, it was for having an expired inspection sticker...
Now, I knew my inspection had expired at the end of January, so I guess I couldn't get too upset that some dumb ass, hard up to make quota, no fun, douchy Huskies fan meter maid had to drop a buzz kill on my day...
So why didn't I get it taken care of you ask?...
Well, I had just gotten some work done back in early January at which point, I TRIED to take care of it at a dealership service center outside of Boston that shall rename mainless (let's just say it rhymes with Spock Blonda...). When they checked out my car, they said I'd fail the inspection if I didn't get over $1000 worth of repairs done. They told me a bunch of stuff about a bunch of stuff about which I had never even heard before. I really know nothing about cars, but I felt like I knew about the basic health of my car and that they were trying to fleece me. I told them to forget it and made like Charlie Sheen's lawyer again.
Once I left Spock Blonda, I kinda handled the car situation like I sometimes handle my own health and checkups... I got kinda lazy... Then I didn't really drive it much, so I kinda forgot about it... And frankly, I got a little spooked that if I took it in somewhere else, that there was enough wrong with it to fail an inspection...
...Which is exactly how I felt when I headed in for my 'body inspection' by my new Fitness Sensei, Ann Marie Sheridan, for the first time (...as a trainer... I knew A.M. previously from rocking our friends', Ted and Alicia's, wedding party earlier this year. We were walk-in partners for the reception and performed a pretty legendary entrance... in our minds, at least...). A little frightened of what I was going to find out about my body, fitness levels, and BMI, I headed into her office at Cutting Edge Fitness fully expecting to hear that I needed $1000 worth of work done before I passed inspection for PROJECT: Briles 200!!!
While the results weren't GOOD (otherwise why would PROJECT: Briles 200 be happening?...), they weren't HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE... Ann Marie was a little surprised at my strength and was encouraged for my prospects. Overall, the meeting went well. Sensei took my measurements (as promised, see them embarrassingly posted below), discussed how and why her particular type of weight training is really good for creating lean muscle (which is GREAT, because my muscles have said they also wanted to lose a lot of weight), and even discussed how she is also going to, "Start discussing mental preparation for what's in store, because you (Briles) are going to be a lady killer and I (she) want to make sure that you have a solid state of mind before unleashing you (Briles) to the public and the innocent women who won't know what hit them." Well, aaaaaallllllrighty then!! How am I NOT supposed to get fired up by THAT??? (Although... I WAS confused by her use of the future tense in conjunction with the term "lady killer".... )
I start my real weekly workouts with Ann Marie this coming Tuesday. It's only thirty minutes long, but it promises to be like a clown fight!! (intense...)
As for my car, I took it to a trustworthy, legit local guy who I used last year to do the inspection. Just like my own inspection with A.M., my car, while still a little banged up, was good enough to pass.
Orange is what you want to wear for a Cuse game, Kids... not what you want to find under your windshield wiper... violations, financially for cars and health-wise for bodies, are costly!!! Take your car and body in for their necessary inspections, no matter how afraid you are that they're going to fail. The good news is, that even if they do, you can still fix them.
MY STARTING MEASUREMENTS
Weight: 239 lbs
BMI (Body Mass Index): 33.5
Recommended BMI for a male for Male 32 yrs:
Low BMI <>
Recommended BMI 18.5-24.9
High BMI 25-29.5
Very High BMI > 30
Body Fat %: 31%
Recommended Body Fat Percentage for Male 32yrs:
Low: 5-7
Recommended: 8-20
High: 21-25
Very High: > 24
This isn't really the stuff I'm worried about, but will be fun to see what happens....
Bicep Relaxed: 13" Flexed 14.7"
Chest: 43"
Waist: 44" (my pants say 40 or 38", so I'm not sure what Sensei is doing to me here...)
Hips: 44.5" (it's all in the hips... it's all in the hips... )
Quad Relaxed: 24 Flexed 24.5"
Calf Relaxed: 18" Flexed: 17.5 (Is that supposed happen?!?!)
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